Split Screen Sadness

That just about does it. I don't care about anything any more. I have to turn indifferent towards my own feelings because I just can't handle it anymore. The feeling of confusion, the feeling of nothingness, that was never meant to be me....

Sometimes I think it's good that I'm going away for a few days and I just hope that something happens to me and I never come back. I'm just so tired with everything. Nobody knows what I want and strangely I know exactly what everybody wants. Some want to get married, some want to have fun, some want to take care of their family....where do I come in all of this??? Exactly, nowhere!!!

It is not all about me like some people like to think. I just don't see my life going anywhere. Why can't some people just say what they are feeling? I'm not saying that I ain't guilty of the same thing, but I do try to get it across. So yeah, nothing makes sense anymore.

With shadows I spend it all
My heart and i
Have decided to end it all
Soon there'll be candles
And prayers that are said I know
But let them not weep
Let them know that I'm glad to go
Death is no dream
For in death I'm caressing you

Dreaming, I was only dreaming
I wake and I find you asleep
In the deep of my heart here
Darling I hope
That my dream never haunted you
My heart is telling you
How much I wanted you


Well, that kinda was meant for someone. If someone reads it, well and good, and if not, even better. This stings only because it is nobody's fault. It feels really strange in the head when you think about things that were never meant to be. But now this feels like an old man's pastime for me. It actually makes a lot of sense when you know that there is no substitute at all for time as well as for sadness. Think about it, there is nothing else that you can indulge yourself in.

But we all know we cannot possibly do something as drastic as this now. But hey, what if it happens when you least expect it??? Will you cry, will you get scared....hahahahaha...

Yes, no one can do that because we have to live for others right!!! So what if people don't understand you, there are others who care for you. So I say we live for them and we only die for them. Why die of our own selfish reasons? What have others done to go through the hell of not being with you around? Nothing right!!! So I say don't. This is for all you suicidal mongers out there so that you just snap out of it. It is just not worth it.