I'm just tired of everything as of now. I don't want any friends, I don't want any family. All I want is to be alone. The one person who i thought understood me has problems of her own. I don't wanna burden her with my shit. He is turning worse by day. Today he threw the plate of food away on the floor in a fit of anger. She cried as usual and I, I kept myself locked in my room. All I told him was I wouldn't be home tomorrow night and he had to take out the anger on her.
As for the girl I like, I'm just afraid of getting too close to her. That's because I know that I can open up only to her but then I'd look for my strength in her, my support in her. But then she'd just walk away cause she never felt the same for me. I'll be really broken then. What do I say to her when she does walk away??? "How dare you do this, be my strength, support and take it all back by simply walking away from me....."
No, I'll go mad if I do anything of that sort. So yeah, I just need to be alone. Even if I try to look at anyone for my strength, I'd just force myself to look away. I can't take this shit anymore. She wants him to get out of the house but he just won't go. I want him out too, cause most of her problems are all because of him. If only he could change. I'm not asking him to be perfect. But that doesn't mean that he has to be the worst.
So yeah, writing is perhaps the only way I feel that I'm talking to someone. I think I should get used to all of this. Who needs people anyways?????
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